100% Assurance, 0% Faith

I’ve got that feeling

I would be a liar if I told you I am 100% certain, no doubt anywhere in my mind that I’m supposed to be going to Papua New Guinea.

But there has been something that has kept stirring inside me ever since hearing about Ramu Valley Academy and taking my first trip there to help build a house for an incoming teacher.

But how do I make sense of this feeling?

How do you know God’s Will?

I met with pastors from my church. I read a book by one of my favorite pastors from BBN radio, Charles Swindoll, wanting to know how to tell if what I am feeling was God’s will or not.

Well let me cut to the chase and tell you that I learned from all three pastors that they can’t tell me what God’s will is (are you surprised??)

Ramu Valley Academy’s student population will continue to grow for a couple more years until all grade-levels 7-12 are filled.
More students, more grades means more teachers needed. And given that my son is living in TX, my parents in Japan, I really am not tied down to beautiful East TN, in the foothills of the Smoky Mountains with a house too big for just myself, 2 cars (down from fleet of 3), a career that pays me well with opportunities to pursue some exciting projects pushing new boundaries.

Fear

There was nothing holding me back… except for myself.

I was comfortable, content with where I am and moving to PNG struck fear within me – fear of getting rid of all my precious things I’ve carefully handpicked and curated over the years. Fear of not having the comforts of home I take for granted. Fear of uprooting myself and moving with no property left in my name.

Seeking that 100% assurance from God that He wants me to go to PNG was my fear looking for a risk-free, guaranteed golden ticket.

Right or Left?

What tipped the scale for me was a YouTube video I watched when seeking for answers again after my second trip back from PNG.
In that video it said that God will definitely show you the right answer if you are asking a Right-or-Wrong question. But if the question is whether to go Right-or-Left (not getting political here y’all), God will not give an exact answer because if He gave us 100% assurance, it would require 0% Faith on our part!

That’s when I realized my fears were holding me back and nothing was going to change if I kept waiting for God’s will! I had to make the leap of Faith and take action to know if this is God’s will or not!

Making the commitment to serve at RVA lifted a huge weight from my heart and mind and it feels amazing!! With each step of this process I’m learning to let go of control and trust more and He will guide me to wherever He needs me.